RESOURCES — SHORT ARTICLES

 

SHORT ARTICLES BY TOM ELSEROAD
	2021-04-02	The Bible And Dealing With Difficult People
		Difficult people are everywhere. We all know people whom we find “difficult” in one way or another. Difficult people seem to know just how to “push one's buttons” and stir up trouble. We should remember that we have and can act the same as these people. So, the first step in dealing with difficult people is to understand we are not better than such people by nature (Ep.2:1-3). Eph 2:1 And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins, Eph 2:2 in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience, Eph 2:3 among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others. God's forgiveness of our sinfulness is the basis for how we are to respond to difficult people. That is, with grace. As believers we are not to “get even” or “get ahead” by returning evil for evil (Ro.12:19-21). We are called to love our enemies and to pray for those who persecute us (Mt.5:43-45). This is impossible in our own strength but is possible with God (Mt.19:26). Difficult people are often this way because of their own pain. Seeing difficult people as those who are hurting and in need of Christ's touch can encourage us to forgive them. Jesus certainly dealt with difficult people while here on the earth. In His interactions with difficult people, He never displayed an attitude of harsh superiority or dismissive pride. Jesus showed authority under control. This is meekness. When dealing with difficult people what does this look like? 1. Jesus sometimes would rebuke when necessary (Jn.8:47). 2. Jesus sometimes remained silent (Jn.8:6). 3. Jesus sometimes asked questions (Mk.11:28-29). 4. Jesus sometimes told a story (Lk.7:40-42). 5. Jesus sometimes pointed people to Scripture (Mk.10:2-3). Thus, there is not simply one way to deal with difficult people. It is up to us to use wisdom and discernment with such people. The book of Proverbs provides wisdom in dealing with difficult people. Here is a sampling: 1. We are to have patience in our relationships (Pr.12:16). Do not take insults personally. 2. We are the one to initiate peace (Pr.20:3). 3. We are to value foresight and work to avoid difficult situations (Pr.17:14; 22:24). 4. We are to offer a “soft answer” which will turn away wrath (Pr.15:1). Remember sometimes God allows difficult people in our lives to help us to grow through the experience. When dealing with difficult people it is easy to respond in the flesh. All believers in Christ are indwelt by the Spirit of God who produces certain fruit and attitudes. These include love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control (Ga.5:22-23). So, to respond to difficult people with the fruit of the Spirit, we must depend on the power of the Spirit. Dealing with difficult people requires prayer and the power of God. When we know we are going to encounter a difficult person, we should pray beforehand. Ask for God's wisdom and strength to respond well. Pray for the person and for God's work in his or her life. Pastor Tom Elseroad

 

An Evangelical Free Church of America

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